"A grown man shouldn't have to play with dolls" or "Spinning Strawberries Sicken Sluggo"

My Little Pony Hell When I'm sitting on the couch playing with dolls (mostly various princesses) and/or horses (mostly My Little Pony or My Little Pony knockoffs), and the occasional other toy, I really wish Lourdes had a companion to keep her company/occupied. A companion that we aren't responsible for. A companion that does exactly what Lourdes wants/needs done. A companion that's always there for her. A companion that is not a sibling.

Now don't get me wrong, I love spending time with her. I love that she almost exclusively chooses me to play these things with her. In fact, sometimes Raquel is a little jealous that Lourdes wants to play things with me instead of her. The problem is that it is typically the same scenario over and over again: "Hi, what's your name?" (repeat the introduction process several times) followed by someone falling into the "fire" or getting stuck in something, getting rescued and promptly falling or getting stuck again. Oh it's fun for a minute, but the fun wears off fast.

Once, I tried to change up the routine by throwing my pony into the adjacent room. Lourdes retrieved it and I threw it again. She retrieved it again and admonished me. I threw it yet again. She retrieved it yet again and closed the door so that I wouldn't be able to throw it. I was very impressed with her solution to a problem.

This airman doesn't fly well About 10 years ago, I flew on one our C-130 Hercules cargo planes. The flight was kind of an incentive flight for those of us in the Air Force that don't get to fly on the planes very much. It was a warm, strike that, hot summer day in upper lower Michigan (sounds funny but look at Alpena, Michigan on the map and tell me a better way to describe it!). The pilot put the aircraft through the wringer and I was enjoying it until motion sickness set in. The ride was not even close to some of the more thrilling roller coasters I've been on, yet it took its toll on me. I managed not to "lose my lunch" but I felt awful for several hours after. Something about turning 30 that year caused a physiological change in me and I've suffered from motion sickness ever since. I'm fine as a passenger in a car under normal circumstances, but air travel requires medication. Now I just want to make it clear, I don't have a fear of flying, I just suffer from motion sickness.

Last weekend, there was a carnival in town. We took Lourdes to the opening night because they have wristband night so for a flat fee you get to ride as many rides as you want. Lourdes and I did the merry-go-round first. I was fine with it. Then Lourdes went on some smaller go-round-in-circles rides without me. She really wanted to ride the strawberries. This ride has giant strawberries that you sit in and can spin them if you want, while the whole ride spins in a bigger circle. I had hoped we would get our own strawberry so that we wouldn't spin, but that was not the case. The two little girls in our strawberry made it spin. Fortunately they didn't make it spin too fast. Unfortunately they made it spin fast enough to bother me. It was hot in the strawberry, and got hotter by the minute. The little girls kept it spinning steady and complaining that they were going to get sick. They were obviously brain-damaged to not associate their spinning of our strawberry with their onset of nausea. I put it together right away, spinning=nausea. By the time the ride was done, I was done. I was sweating, I was nauseous, I was pale. Lourdes was fine.

We went on to do some "safe" rides (read non-spinning). The giant slide was great, although it reminded me of my suspicion of heights. Okay, fear of heights. Well not so much fear of heights, but a fear of being up more than 15 or 20 feet in the air on a platform that I don't have confidence in, especially one put together by "carnies". We climbed the stairs to the top of the slide, Lourdes had no fear at all. She looked down over all the carnival and enjoyed the view. I looked down and hoped the "carnie" had bolted everything together properly. We each had our burlap bag to sit on and slide down. Lourdes sat next to me, we held hands and slid down with great excitement. All in all, it was quite fun except the last drop was steep (not a problem), with a not at all subtle transition back to horizontal (a problem). If you want to simulate the last part, try this: Stand up on your sofa, jump up and away from the sofa, as you are free falling, put your legs and feet out in front of you while your trunk remains vertical, land on your bottom and see how your lower back deals with the stress. I think the carnies were getting kickbacks from local chiropractors trying to drum up more business.

Eventually Lourdes wanted to ride the ferris wheel. I hadn't fully recovered from the strawberry incident yet, but decided to ride the ferris wheel with my little girl. Remember I said I have a fear of of being up more than 15 or 20 feet in the air on a platform that I don't have confidence in, especially one put together by "carnies". By the time we got the ferris wheel loaded, I was not doing very well. I had one hand "white knuckled" on the bar and one clutching Lourdes tight to my side. It seemed like my mind and body were conspiring against me. Fortunately there was a bit of a cooling breeze that helped me considerably. I was definitely not in good shape and felt like I was on the verge of passing out. I toughed it out, aided by the breeze, knowing that Lourdes was having a good time and that if I passed out, it would be equal parts 1)dangerous to her health and safety (she could have easily slipped out of the carriage if we weren't careful) and 2)extremely embarrassing. Once we reached terra firma, I knew I was done. Lourdes wanted to ride more spinning rides that would require me as her chapperone/copilot but we were able to distract her from those. I managed another ride on the slide, this time more prepared for the backbreaking finish. I was impressed by the sheer fearlessness exhibited by Lourdes. I hope she keeps quality (for the most part), although a little fear keeps some of us from accidentally killing ourselves.