Cold water

I've been a member of the American Legion for several years. One of the benefits of being a member is to receive The American Legion Magazine. I don't always read the entire magazine. I usually thumb through it and occasionally read an article. There's always a page (most times it's the last page) of jokes. I almost always read the jokes because the majority of the time the jokes are not funny. I don't know why I enjoy reading these bad jokes but I always torture myself with them. Every so often there will be a joke that I consider funny. I've often thought that when I find a joke from this magazine, I should post it here to share with everyone. So here goes the first installment of "FUNNY JOKE FROM THE AMERICAN LEGION MAGAZINE".

This one is from the February 2005 issue and the joke is not credited to anyone.

Jim went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather. The next morning, his grandfather prepared a breakfast of eggs and bacon. Jim noticed a filmy substance on his plate and asked, "Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."

That afternoon, while eating hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, Jim noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate and what appeared to be dried egg yolk. He asked again, "Are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking up from his hamburger, his grandfather answered, "I told you, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Don't ask me about it no more!"

Later that afternoon, Jim left to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass. Jim yelled, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me out."

Without diverting his attention from the football game on TV, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, go lie down!"

This has been the first installment of "FUNNY JOKE FROM THE AMERICAN LEGION MAGAZINE".