The answer, my friend, is duct tape.

I was thinking about diapers today. I'm not very familiar with the latest developments in diaper technology so hopefully what I was thinking about doesn't even matter. I was thinking about how sometimes a diaper comes undone on one side or the other and what to do to resolve this problem so as not to waste a perfectly absorbant diaper. The first thing that came to mind was a hot glue gun. After careful thought, this didn't seem like a good idea because I don't have a glue gun. Besides, if I did, I would have to wait for it to heat up and that would probably take too long.
I thought about SuperGlue, but I was worried I might glue my fingers together. Boy would I feel stupid with my fingers glued together.
So then I thought of stapling the diaper. But I ruled that out rather quickly, sharp edges, might cut myself.
Rope? Not practical.
Belt? No loops on a diaper.
Duct tape? Of course, the handyman's secret weapon as Red Green would say. And duct tape comes in various colors now so it could conceivably blend in with whatever fashion statement the baby is making.

I don't think so.

Well another week has gone by. We survived the babysitting ordeal last Sunday. Actually Adam's kids were really good except the little one constantly wanted to pick up Peanut. Three year olds just don't have the agility to properly handle a puppy. Poor Peanut is not very big overall, but he is surprisingly long, especially when he stretches out. Zoey loves Peanut and would not let him be. She was very good with him when she was sitting and he was on her lap, but she couldn't pick him up without choking him. He tried to escape under the bed once and I saw her drag him by the tail before he could get far enough under. I tried to explain to her that if she doesn't leave Peanut alone, he will become scared of her and will simply hide when kids come around or even worse, bite them. I don't think it sunk in entirely, however she does remember that my cat scratched her face a couple of years ago under similar circumstances.
We didn't go to a movie with the kids because there weren't any suited for kids that Raquel and I hadn't seen already. We took my niece to see Freaky Friday (which I actually enjoyed), we took another niece to see Spy Kids 3D and Finding Nemo. We actually had taken Adam's kids to see Nemo previously, and the little one said she wanted to see it again, but I really didn't want to see it for a third time right now. Maybe I should have gone to see it again, and again, and again to get used to watching the same thing over and over in preparation for our kid. Maybe I'll just lie to my kid and say the VCR/DVD player can only play a movie once a week. Maybe I'll just give in and let the TV/VCR/DVD player babysit my kid like so many other parents do.

We'll know more about our kid this Wednesday as we go to the OB for the first time. Poor Raquel has had a lot of morning sickness but 7-UP and crackers seems to help. We should start bargain hunting for baby stuff. Soon it will be getting cooler and the garage sale season will be over. We also need to buy some maternity clothes for Raquel. So many things. If only we knew what size diapers the kid will need, we could start buying some now and start stocking up. I can just see me at Sam's Club next year hauling out a case of Pampers every week. And baby food. Maybe our baby will be born with teeth and will eat real food right away. There's always plenty of our food left over. Maybe our baby will get potty training done in record time. I think 2 weeks is reasonable. Don't you?

What do you expect from me?

So it's Friday and I'm finally posting something. But what to say?
Well, I changed the look of my web page, finally. It was looking rather antiquated and Greg's page is looking good, so I knew I had to do something, but what? I know one thing is for sure: I don't know squat about Adobe Photoshop.

I know what you're thinking: Dwayne, even my preschooler knows how to use Photoshop. Well good for you and your protogé! Maybe junior wouldn't mind stopping by and showing me how to use it then.

Today we got a book (my very first online purchase, fyi) delivered to our doorstep. Seems like every mother out there says to read What to Expect When You're Expecting. So we purchased said book online but in Spanish so Raquel can read up on what's going on with her body and what she can expect to happen. And they say kids don't come with owner's manuals. Guess those cost extra.

Don't know what all is going on this weekend, but we may have to babysit a few hours on Sunday. Maybe we'll just take them to a movie and McDonald's to eat up a couple of hours. Wish us luck.

Well that's enough for the moment. See you next time.

Thanks to Greg for ignoring remembering my birthday. Yes, I'm another year older, but I think I'm mostly a year better. I don't feel any older than I did on Saturday, or even last year for that matter. In fact, I still feel like I'm in my twenties, except I have to pee in the middle of the night a couple times.

And speaking of birthdays, today is my older sister's birthday. She is one year older than me. That's right, I was her early first birthday present. Happy Birthday, Sharon!

I can't say enough good things about the new look for Greg's blog as well as Deb's blog. Spot on!

I get a three-day weekend this coming weekend followed by a four-day weekend for Labor Day. Maybe I'll get my blog a new look. Maybe I'll get the webpage somewhat modernized. Maybe I'll sleep a lot and play Playstation.

A belated happy birthday goes out to Deb. I always forget it's her birthday and this year I've got more things on my mind than normal so I hope she understands.

Greg has updated the look of his blog as well as Deb's blog. He's also put a nice new look on his web page that matches his blog. By the way, the new look for Deb's blog is really good. It was very difficult to read before.

I know my page looks old and cheesy. I need to play around a little and get it looking better. I actually think I prefer the blog. It's easier to maintain and update and has a clean look to it. Plus I can display pictures in it as well. If I can't get a satisfactory look to my web page, I may abandon it and just go with this blog.

Unfortunately I don't have much to say at the moment so I'll close for now.

I read Greg's blog all the time, just as I've always read his web page. Occasionally I read some of the blogs that he has links to from his blog. Today I read Donna's blog about her piñata experiences. I gave a chuckle about how the first one was really hard, literally hard and was almost impossible to break.

My beautiful wife Raquel asked what I chuckled about. Before I could explain, I had to ask her if she knew about piñatas. She said she did and I told her about the difficulties of breaking open Donna's first piñata. Raquel thought it was strange that kids here in the U.S. hit their piñatas with a stick, why don't they use a knife to pop it open? Just to make sure we were on the same page, I had her tell me about the piñatas in Paraguay.
Keep in mind that I'm not the best Spanish speaker nor do I understand everything spoken to me in Spanish.
Apparently piñatas in Paraguay are somewhat pressurized so that when the birthday boy/girl uses a knife to "pop" the piñata, it "explodes" or perhaps "bursts" the goodies among the partygoers. Not a large blast but enough to spread the goodies out a little. Sometimes for fun, they put flour in the piñata along with the goodies so that the revelers get covered in white powder.
I think that would be hilarious to see. Maybe more fun than a blindfolded kid whacking someone in the groin or about the head and face with a stick. Someday I will experience a Paraguayan birthday celebration.

In other news, we went to the doctor on Wednesday to confirm that we are going to have a baby. Now we need to get an OB so when our baby decides it's time to leave the cozy confines of Raquel there will be someone to catch it.
Everyone has been happy for us. Many ask if I want a boy or a girl. Well of course the first priority is to have a healthy baby. I think I want a little girl until about age 9 or 10 and then I hope she suddenly becomes a boy. And I don't mean becomes a boy like she goes Melissa Etheridge on us. I just think a teenage boy is easier to deal with than a teenage girl. No matter what, we just have to do our best and hope the kid becomes a good person.

The boys just came in and are excited to be back indoors.

Of course this photo is a couple months old, they are much bigger now.

Look what we've done!

Well sort of. That's me as a baby. I don't know how old I am in this picture but I sure am chubby. Anyway, Raquel and I are going to have one of those soon.

That's right. Dwayne is going to be a daddy. According to Greg, it's going to be a great thing. I suppose he's right. By then, Dover the MinPin might be out of his shock collar and so we won't have to buy a new one. Just kidding, I wouldn't put Dover's collar on my baby, I'd buy a new one.

I don't know if I can handle the pressure of keeping a blog.

It really is stressing me out. I don't see how Greg can do it. I suppose I really could post more often but what if I don't have anything to say?

Actually I have to praise a product that Raquel and I bought recently. As you may have previously read, we have a MinPin and a Min Dachshund. The Dachshund is really quite calm and when we are outside with him, he generally doesn't need a leash or chain. The MinPin, however, is quite spastic. Given the opportunity, he will dash away to see what the world has to offer in the way of smells with absolutely no regard to his safety and oblivious to our calls for him. Usually, the only way to catch him is if he finds something really interesting to smell or has to pinch a loaf.

Anyway, after a few escapes, one of which took him all the way to a busy road (luckily there was a cat nearby to distract him long enough for Raquel to snatch him), I decided to look into a shock collar. Not for me, for the dog.

Okay, I know some of you may think a shock collar is cruel, but let me explain a little first. This collar has a remote with two buttons. One button will cause the collar to emit a warning tone. The other button is to deliver a "shock". The idea is that the dog will do it's bad behavior, you send a warning tone. If the dog continues with the bad behavior, send another tone. Finally, if the dog still doesn't respond, zap him! Trust me, Pavlov had it down pat. Our MinPin quickly associated the warning tone with the shock and he responds to the tone. He's rarely disregarded the tone and is a different dog. He's so much calmer now and we feel confident letting him loose outside under supervision. Sidenote 1: the shock is adjustable and should only be turned up enough to get the appropriate response from the dog (pissing himself or yelping is not an appropriate response--TURN IT DOWN!) Sidenote 2: I put the collar on my leg and tested it before putting it on the dog. I turned it down after yelping and pissing myself.